Pot holes in the road

"Normality is a paved road:

It's comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow."

You know that feeling when you hit a pot hole and just close your eyes for a hot second thinking "Please tell me that didn't pop my tire!" 

Last week I must have hit every hole their was in the road...

I feel like that at times with dystonia.

My body gets so tired but I know I have to keep going! 

Sometimes, I think the Lord is teaching me patience. 

Patience with myself. Patience with his timing. 

Since I was a little girl and started going through doctor's my prayer would always be for someone (anyone) to just "get it". 

Get the daily struggles.

To get the emotions that come along with any chronic illness.

To see past my outside body.

I literally get so emotional just thinking about this answered prayer!

20 years later.

Literally this time last year I had NO clue what God was pre-paring me for.

I had no clue that I would leave MY dream job.

Only to enter into what the Lord's dream was for me. 

When I first came to CFA I really thought with my whole heart that it was just going to be a second income...but the more I started working there after teaching I realized this was were my heart was at!

It's where I could struggle. 

It's where I could be weak. It's where I could cry. 

I never thought the Lord could change my heart so quickly like he did.

A couple weeks ago the owner, Craig stood near by.

Anytime his sugar drops his pump goes off...which in return has the whole store worried.

I hear "Stupid diabetes!"

I laugh because I feel the SAME way about dystonia somedays.

It was that sweet reminder that I wasn't alone.

He then kinda just giggled that he said that out loud. 

This past Sunday was deep clean Sunday. 

Let's be honest. Towards the end I was struggling.

I was carrying a table and of course Craig jumps in to help carry the other end.

I was trying so hard to hold still.

My body just wasn't having me turn to the left side to look so whatever! 

Hello right side. 

I hear "There you go! Use your good side."

I literally was caught off guard.

No one usually catches on to that! Heck most doctor's don't even catch on to that.

I was SOOOOO happy that he did though! 

Literally one of my favorite pictures! 

When he interviewed me I had made a deal with myself to try and hide dystonia from the store.

Including Craig.

When that didn't really work so well for me I thought I'll just tell him but it's not a big deal.

Cover up how you really are struggling with it all right now up.

Can I just say that I am so thankful I just couldn't. 

I have grown so much as a person in the time I have been at CFA in Muncie. 

When I first came I really thought he wasn't going to hire me because I couldn't hold still.

I wanted the job so badly so I told myself to keep holding still. 

Monday, I am sitting down with Craig again just doing my own thing. 

My body was trying to move all over the place. 

I have this really bad habit of grabbing the table or something and holding on tight so I can at least have a little control over the movements.

Craig "Chels...How much energy does that take to try and hold still?"

The whole time thinking "How does he know this?"

BUT then being so thankful he does notice because he gets the parts not a lot of people "get". 

Today, I got owned for eating a small fry and six chips last week. 

I mean I can't help it if CFA food is super good and right in front of me.

What was I suppose to do?

Look at it? 

I guess blood work is a too often thing while on the keto!

Before long they'll have all my blood. 

To whomever likes taking blood...You are gross! 

I literally about puke every time I see my blood moving. 

Oh how gross! 

I look to two years ago and it IS amazing the pathway the Lord has taken me on! 

Like his dreams have became MY dreams.

I am so glad that I am loved. 

But even more importantly I am so thankful for a friend like Craig who just "gets it!" 

Good thing I worked REALLY hard in speech therapy and physical therapy cause boy would I need it for God's plans! 

I literally thought he was done using me until September! 

Guess not :) 

Happy Wednesday Ya'll!