This past week has marked a year since having to let health be. For the past few weeks I have struggled with that. Struggled with the fear of letting Jesus just have it all. I’ve always felt the need to be in control of what I’ve never been in control over. This past week I’ve been reminded of the full journey. The full uncomfortableness of sharing with the world such a personal testimony.
This week I was faced with the uncomfortableness of reading a book to all the kindergarteners. I must have told myself and Craig a million times I couldn’t do it. I guess you could say I was setting myself up to fail before I even knew how Jesus was going to work Friday morning.
We really never know what Jesus is up too for our life’s..
A year ago this would’ve never happened. You learn to appreciate being in the moment more when you’ve been taken to a moment completely opposite of this one.
Last Tuesday before this happened Craig and I were suppose to have a meeting. Something came up where we had to have it over the phone.
Sometimes, Jesus allows different plans because he knows exactly what we need!
I always listen when Craig talks because he’s a wise man. Each time I learn something new from him about just life in general.
On this particular day I was wrestling in God’s word. Knowing Jesus loves me daily. Dystonia or no Dystonia but feeling like I’ll just never be “good enough”.
If there is one thing Craig said over the phone that hit home to me was this
“It’s ok to hurt or feel disappointment because that means you care. Don’t stay there too long because it will crimple you. You keep going!”
See, I needed this pep talk...little did he know!
I had mentioned all week me wanting him to be there at the school Friday! I however knew it might not happen because of his busy schedule.
Not only did he show up but he stayed the whole time! Which may seem little to anyone else but that completely made my week!
If you don’t have a boss like this...well your missing out cause it’s rare!
I did it! I read the story and by no means was it perfect but the fact that I did it was huge!
Flashback:I was in 8th grade and it took me 20-30 minuets to just read a paragraph out loud in class due to my dystonia.
I’ve watched Jesus break my heart for what breaks his this past week.
I’ve watched Jesus work in my life the last year!
Sometimes you just have to celebrate with a dance party!
My heart was pulled in so many directions this week!
Today, Mekale prayed with me during church. Who would’ve thought that had I not lost control of my speech I probably wouldn’t ever be at Chick-fil-A or know Mekale. It really is a testimony to God’s love for me.
I’m not sure anyone can say that their speech therapist prayed with them let alone just loving me.
This afternoon Dystonia has really hurt physically.
Tonight has also been emotional knowing I’m not in control of my life but Jesus is. To have a heart to heart chat with Jesus about all the why’s and scary things.
I think he understood :)
Also, this week has taught me one of the most important lessons. That is that God allows unfair things to happen. He allows us to struggle.
But his love for us never fades.
I ended my Sunday evening giving Jesus Dystonia fully this week!
Doctors, Thanks for challenging me and telling me I’d never be able to do things that I just did this week! #Boom
The sky is the limit, right Craig?!
I’m looking forward to this week and all Jesus has in store!
I’m glad that HE knows my heart better then I know my own heart. I never knew how much I needed Craig and Mekale this past week!
Sometimes loving someone is all it takes...
Have an amazing week everyone!!
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