Moving on with life is just a part of life...

“I remember when Jesus lit a fire under me that only he could unlight within me. I remember my very first blog that went public. My roommate and I were sitting on the couch and Haley who was my roommate at the time says, “CHELSI! Your blog just went viral!” 

Where friendships were made and will last a lifetime...

 I remember the start of speaking when Melissa handed me the mic and walked away. Who knew that would start one of the biggest chapters of my life on this earth. From there, I began speaking everywhere and anywhere! I remember winning the essay for the Dougles Krämer award world wide inviting me to Washington and Captiol Hill. 

Washington is where I knew I wasn’t alone in this life. It’s where Jesus opened up doors that no man would be able to shut. 

Side note:Somedays I feel like I’m doing this life alone. I’m sure we all have those days where we are stuck in our own pitty parties. Asking Jesus all the “why’s”, and when we don’t get the answers we want we are quick to think Jesus is an unfair kinda guy. 

It’s human to be bitter. It’s human to be heartbroken. I always explain it to others as a grieving stage. You go through these strange but needed stages to come to a point of accepting it isn’t going to change. At some point you realize that your life has to go on. 

The last few years I have had to relive all the journey as the Hunt gets closer and I share my journey with the world. To be honest it hurts. It hurts really badly. To relive all the doctors who gave up on me. Who walked away because it was “hard”. I will never forget a neurosurgeon looking at me and saying, “Wow your life must suck!” The moment of denied letters for a simulator. I don’t think my heart ever hurt that badly before. The time a doctor said to me, “You don’t want to live like this!” You never forget words that are said to you that end up hurting you.

I’m about to be the author of a brand new book that shares my journey step by step. After the book is finished, I am so happy and heavy hearted to announce this part of my life has came to an ending point. Sometimes, you just have to keep your eyes on the road ahead without looking back. 

                                     Realizing that your past is what has helped shape who you are. 

One of the biggest role models in my whole entire life. 

I couldn't image doing this life without him as my boss but more importantly as that Dad role model at work!  

My book includes so many details of my journey and I truly hope you all understand the love Jesus has had for me even through the love I did not have for him. 

A chapter that talks about when I got a diagnosis and how It changed everything but changes nothing all at once. How when I got a diagnosis was so happy until I realized there wasn’t a cure. No one could fix it. And boy was I ticked when that became a reality. 

Dystonia will always be apart of me but it’s not all of me. I’m excited about what chapter and adventures Jesus has in store for my life next. I could use your prayers as this life is hard and I have to remember I am just passing through. Health is a good thing but sickness is far greater when you know that that’s the only way you would have given your heart to Jesus. 

                        I truly hope that this blog post doesn’t disappoint anyone but if it does I apologize.

                                                                                  -Chels 

Calming my storms...

"He made the storm. Be still."

Psalm 107:29

The last few months I have struggled like no other in my faith. Believing that there is a greater purpose then all the hurt and brokenness life can bring.  

I have come to realize that it is so much easier believing in Jesus when things are going great. When those storms come I have found it to be much more difficult to believe Jesus is good. 

Before I left for vacation I grabbed my friend and co-worker, Jayla. 

I simply said "I need you now." 

She quickly dropped everything she was doing and said "Okay."

We set down where no one could really see us in the restaurant.

I asked her if she would pray with me.

She dropped her book and said "Of course I will Chelsi. Anything for you. Anytime."

She prayed the most beautiful heartfelt prayer.

You could tell in her voice she really loved Jesus.

It was after that when I realized a praying friend is the best kinda friends to have.

I left for vacation last week with a heavy heart. 

A heavy heart that to be honest hurt. 

Hurt for Jesus.

My prayer life...well I can't even tell you how many weeks/maybe months I had went without praying. 

I am thankful that I had friends that never stopped praying for me during this time. 

I was able to get away for a week and spend time on the beach. 

I started thinking about life and how different of a person I am when I am not in the will of God.

When I am doing things MY way.

Gosh. I have fallen down more then a couple times in the last few months.

Turning to the world for answers.

I came back home from vacation with a heart that desired Jesus.

I was using the excuse "The church split."

Right. It happens. Move on Chels. 

Church is full of humans. 

Find a church that you love and make it a priority. 

You have people following you. 

Be careful. 

Through these last few months the Burrell's have been such an encouragement to me.

Without even knowing it.

Thanks Matt and Lynn! 

The church hunt begins Sunday! 

Finding a church in the generation we live in isn't the easiest nor the funniest task. 

I am determined to keep my heart set on Jesus and not the people.

I am ready to get back to work and see my beautiful people tomorrow! 

For now I am ending this post with Jesus is the only answer. 

People are searching.

Even Christians go through the searching phase. 

I ask that you please keep me in your prayers as I thought I would be at the church I was at for a very

long time. 

 If you have ever been to church alone then you know it is not comfortable. 

It is an odd stage to be in life. 

Where your at the age of marriage but you refuse to settle for just anyone. 

The wait is tough. It can feel as if you have been forgotten or aren't good enough.

I oddly was reminded by a guy I had talked too for awhile that that's far from it. 

It just sometimes doesn't work out.

In the end you know your worth and you know you are good enough so you wait on the Lord.

That is very difficult when you only see a little of the picture.  

Thank you Jesus for claiming my heart this past week.

For praying friends.

For friends who are willing to pray with you! 

For a place that sends you text messages throughout the week "I miss you so much!"

Nothing can compare to being needed, wanted, and loved!

When Dystonia has the best of you...

"I'm thankful for the scars...because without them I wouldn't know your heart..."

I'll be completely honest:

Fact: Dystonia has taught me that in this life there will be struggles that I could never really be prepared for. 

My biggest struggle these last few months have been: being angry. 

When dystonia hits my body...it hits without warning. 

It throws me off my game! 

It makes me not love myself the way I want too.

My famous line is "You don't understand..."

Fact 2: When the Lord placed me at Chick-fil-A Muncie, he sure knew what he was doing! 

I would have to say that our marketing director and operator hear "You don't understand" the most. 

Here's the funny thing:

They understand the most!

I gained a sister when I started working at Chick-fil-A Muncie! 

Fact 3: No matter how upset I get about dystonia, they haven't ever stopped loving me. 

In fact I will hear "Chels. Dystonia does not define you! We need you around here. We love you!" 

OR 

"Chels. I can't fix it. I wish I could but I can't. I get it though! I'm sorry." 

I think that has been the hardest part for me. Is hearing that no human can "fix" it. 

I remember one day Craig teaching me something new and I needed help. He quickly turned to help me. Looking up and said "I don't know weather you know this or not but you do have dystonia. Asking for help is ok!"

My reply "You know what? I don't think it's going to go away either..."

That was the first time in my life that I openly admitted that and it felt so good!
All my life I had this mindset I would find the "fix" and or the "cure".
Maybe one day but just not today.

Fact 4: Dystonia sometimes just kicks my butt.
My first reaction is to get super mad.
This means that I am not in control of my body and I don't like that feeling.
Why?
My biggest fear in this life is to not be loved.

"Fear comes when we are scared."

I would say that in this point of my life I am just that.
What happens if my dystonia gets to the point I can't walk?
Knowing that dystonia will do what it wants.
Knowing that at the end of the day I have no control weather dystonia takes more of my body or not.
What I do have control over is how I decide to handle it.
If I handle with a bitter heart then that is what others will see when they see me.
I want others to see Jesus's love he has had on me and for me through this journey.

Flashback:
I remember the nurse whom was in the room when I got a spinal tap done.
She asked me "Is dystonia scary?"
My reply "Yeah. I am scared now."
She smiled and held my hand so tightly...
The doctor doing the spinal tap said "Your tough. You'll be okay!"

I am learning each day is a new day!
When dystonia hits my body I am not "sick". I am just in a battle that I can't face alone.

If anyone tells you they can fight their battles alone they are lying by the way.
No one can.
If they try...it's messy!
Been there. Done that.
I am so blessed to have a HUGE support system!
 Chick-fil-A Muncie team has been the best team I have ever been on!
Thank you all for allowing dystonia to be so "normal" in our store.
I am thankful that Craig took the chance on me almost two years ago!
I have recently learned how to do have a headset on while carrying a tray.
Talk about challenge!

The influence Craig has on his business will leave a huge impact on this world for years to come...

Our team is full of love for one another and it shows! 


And maybe a little goofy!

If you want to ever feel loved and wanted go visit Chick-fil-A Muncie!